Prophet Saban speaks to unwashed, highly airbrushed masses in Destin

Among the aged duffers and ragged families running around the Land of Low-Lactose Milk and Honey Butter that is the SanDestin Beach Resort, the SEC is having a little meeting.

The Prophet chose to reply to recent charges by the Philistines in Miami that he may have violated NCAA rules on saying hello to recruits on alternate Tuesdays between April 15th and May 29th except in leap years... you get the point.

Meanwhile, reporters took the opportunity to ask about what color trunks he'll be wearing for the big fight with Leslie. Orson provides his own take on how it will go down. (Imagine explicit lyrics sticker here) We'll be waiting on the t-shirt so we can be properly attired for that special night in November.

There was other news about kickoff times and networks... nothing that will be important 1000 years from now.

Romans at the City Walls... again

Lo, the Romans are coming... again. As everyone in the Bamalite Nation knows by now, Prophet Saban talked to some people and now he's in trouble with the Romans again. Everyone seems pretty sure that none of us will be tossed to the lions this time. Fans of any SEC school (except for saTan's team, of course) should realize that just because most schools don't get in trouble for this sort of thing, doesn't mean they won't. Only the Football Gods know for now.

As it turns out, Saban isn't the only one who's been guilty of this sort of thing lately. Nobody wants to name names, but I'm sure the NCAA won't hesitate to cut this guy's tongue out if he refuses to speak.

For now, go in peace.

Kicking off and defending the South endzone...

Ok, we decided if we're going to do this thing right, we need to dedicate a whole blog to college football and leave the other one for the bitching. So here it is... your guide through the spiritual trials and tribulations that mark the South's leading religion: College Football.